This passage stuck out to me in Jennifer’s story:
“I made some poor decisions, but I am not to blame. When I was going through training at the East Texas Crisis Center I was told something that I repeat to myself every time I start to mentally play the “If only I’d…” game (which I still play to this day) and that is: ‘Just because you leave your door unlocked, doesn’t give someone the right to come in and steal your things.’ “
So many of us point to each of our actions that came before our sexual assault, trying to come up with a logical reason for what happened. We say “If only I didn’t have that last drink,” “If only I didn’t let myself trust him,” “If only I hadn’t kissed him,” “If only I fought back harder,” and so on until our brains are exhausted.
Jennifer’s words truly reveal the error in this thought pattern. Rape is not a punishment for poor judgment. Rape is not a punishment for drinking too much. Rape is not a punishment for kissing. Rape is not a punishment for trusting.
We are not to blame.
“I’d love to tell you that that was the end of it, that my life went on normally, happily ever after, yadda yadda. My nightmare is not knowing how many other kids he did this too, and the guilt of not having said something to someone, anyone, about what he was doing. As an adult I became promiscuous with both sexes, ruined two marriages and many relationships…
Say something. Please.”
-Eric, from “It must be okay, he’s a doctor”
I think we can all take Eric’s advice. It’s time for us to say something. PLEASE.