by: S. Amick
My sexual assault began on 2-14-2004 and ended on 2-15-2004. It was what they call an acquaintance rape. I had known my attacker over 11 yrs. I had been through a major issue in my personal life in the 6 months prior to my attack and on 2-13 a group of my close friends had asked me to join them at a local place on Valentines day to get back to living my life. I went back and forth with myself yes I’ll go no i won’t go, yet finally decided to go due to the fact that my mom’s boyfriend was going to be at the same location until she got off work that night. I walked in to this place as i had a number of times before and never in my life dreamed i would walk out and my world would be turned upside down. I joined my friends at their table and for hours all was as usual. I seen my attacker when he walked in and we spoke briefly for a few minutes. You know the normal hey, how have you been, etc that you go through when you haven’t seen someone in a while. I rejoined my friends at the table and continued our chatting. I remember about 11pm i had just gotten a soda and set it down at the table and gone to use the restroom. Looking back i see this as my downfall and yes I’ll be honest and say i do still blame myself for making that decision. I cam back out drank my soda, still not feeling i was in danger or that anything was odd. I have been told around midnight i began saying i didn’t feel well and i needed to go home…. I have to rely on friends for this part of my story because i blacked out. I have been told several of them were going to bring me home and then my attacker said he was leaving and would drop me off at home because it was on his way. No one knew he had slipped something in my drink. The next thing i remember myself was waking up in the bunk of his rig around 6am on 2-15. I woke up to find bruises from my knees up blood covering my genital area and upper legs, i could not talk, it hurt to breathe. I got redressed and got out of the rig as quickly as i could. Thankfully he had parked in the rig parking lot of a convenience store about a mile from my home and many of the cashiers there knew me well. I walked in and as soon as the cashier saw me she called 911 and took me in to the managers office thinking i might still be in danger. I had to write down all i needed to say to her because my face was so swollen on the left side i could not speak or see out of that eye. I went through the whole ordeal of the ER where blood test showed i had enough drugs in my system to kill someone and officers questioning. Personally i say being raped again by officers. I ended up with multiple bone fractures in my face severe damage to my left eye leaving me legally blind in that eye for the rest of my life. I did file charges and i did take it to court. Sadly the justice system did not feel he was guilty or there was enough proof to find him guilty or sentence him other than a simple assault case. I’ve seen someone open handed slap someone else and get more time. A few months later after trial, my attorney received a video tape that my attackers brother in law had found. This video tape contained every last second of my assault and every detail of what had been done to me. I had considered myself lucky in the fact that i had been drugged up and was knocked out for all that had happened. Now i had to relive it again and see it all as it was being done because this sicko wanted to video what he did to me. I have never in my life been so horrified and felt so sick as i did watching all he did to me and all the ways he used objects on me. He took a plea deal on this charge and ended up getting 5 years. Now here I am 6 yrs later a survivor and like many of you others out there using my story to hopefully help another male/female from ever having to endure this pain and agony. I am a survivor and proud of it. Yet i am still surviving and yes i still have days where i feel i am to blame, and all those other feelings we go through after the attack. I keep going in the hopes of helping someone else as well as the refusal of letting him win by me giving up and letting what he did to me make me stop living my life. I am not the same person i was before that night, i am a stronger more cautious me. My wish for all who read or hear my story is that they walk away knowing that no matter what life path you have been chosen to travel on, when you are faced with something like this do not let the person who hurt you win, they may take a part of you away that you may or may not ever regain but they still have not won as long as you keep living and use your story to help others.