The Healing Process
by: Deborah Hall-Branch
Not much has changed since the early 1900s. We’re still expected to make actualities sound fictitious. As a result, many have been handicapped. The weak, emotional, unstable places in their hearts become a tortured arena that holds them hostage by an enemy who enters in and disintegrate families, friendships, and marriages. Open talks about sex, gossip, group violence is always big news, but subjects on abuse in whatever genre get short spots just before the commercials. Why, because no one really wants to face their own truths, or, that of another. But, in order for a true story to be told, the inner scars must be exposed. Something I, myself had to face one day.
I did not gather key principals of survival from listening to others on television, or reading textbooks. Instead, I discovered them from abusive tenets in my own life, and a constant pursuit to find freedom. Traumatic events without healing in our lives leaving emotional indentations can haunt one for years. Have you ever been afraid of being happy? Fearful the dark obscured memories will once again rob the moment.
Lost for years in chaotic maltreatments, when I opened my eyes that chilly autumn morning and the dimmed film of darkness had disappeared, I knew I’d been healed. Silhouettes of colors glared through the slits of my eyes as sleep fought to keep them closed. Peaceful warmth engulfed my bedroom. A childlike giggle expelled from within.
Yesterday’s pain had passed away. I’d awaken to a brand new day. Visions of old shadowy pages as though they were torn out a book danced before me. It seemed like only days gone by when mom sat listening to me describe how everything changed in my life one beautiful summer morning. Hidden far away from her natural motherly instincts her little girl became a victim of incest by three family members she later referred to as her “Day Monsters.”
Staring over at the brown box sitting on the floor filled with books a huge lump evaded my throat. Beautiful cards from well-wishers lay on top. Across the front cover each book read, “Through the Eyes of Abuse – A True Story of Forgiveness, Healing, and Redemption by Deborah Hall-Branch.” Silence had been broken. A life time functioning in a deep despair, its challenges, rescue, and healing revealed from page-to-page. But, that wasn’t always the case. With clinched fist and a refusal to forgive or trust daily I waited in expectation for death to find me. Held captive by hopelessness suicide fought to claim my soul. There came a point in my life when I had to realize it was me who gave my abusers power.
Not a moment too soon that morning an overwhelming feeling to share this rare joy led me to my computer. “Who will listen?” I asked. “Everyone who searches for me will.” The voice said. Fighting hard to see through the tears little by little I placed my fingers on the keyboard and began to type “God is creator of our human bodies. What He has made He can restore. I SHALL FORGIVE.” For certain it was only by forgiveness and a great support team did I find my way through the lighted tunnel. Often I even hid there.
There comes a point in our lives when we have to realize it is us the victims who gives our abusers power. How can we even begin to start helping our family, neighbors, and friends unless we first allow ourselves to take the first step towards forgiving? Is it easy? No. But, when I learned it relinquished the power back into my hands it became a MUST.
There are hundreds of writers and columnists who have written on the subject of abuse in every genre. Some have become number one best sellers. However, each generation produces a story with a powerful message that can transform the victims and their family’s lives. If I could have made this story a little easier for you, I would have, but modern civilization is inclined to disbelieve in those things they can’t seem to touch, feel, and smell. With skepticism they search for evidence of what they’re asked to trust and have faith in while abandoning even their doubt when it comes to accepting truth.
Truth is, only you can conquer over your abuser(s) and reclaim back your life permanently defusing every hurt. Know that nothing happens overnight. Neither does forgiveness. But, it’s motivated to process by elimination. And, through that process healing can begin.