What Could Have Been

by: Danielle

 

What would my life be like
Had you not done that to me?
Maybe a life free of pain
Guilt or such misery.
I contemplate it all the time
What my life would have been like
If it had truly been mine.
Would I have been able to trust
Love or truly let someone in
I will never know for sure
Because you took what might have been
I learned to build wall after wall
But hiding behind them
Has been my greatest downfall.
I thought I could fix what was going on inside
But in the end I always cried.
I kept my dark secret close to my heart
Knowing inside I was falling apart.
I felt alone, ashamed and full of hate
Like that little girl when she was eight.
No drug or alcohol could mask the pain
But for some reason I couldn’t refrain
Becoming self-destructive
And spiraling down the wrong path
Not realizing you kept me captive
And on that warpath.
It is now that time I’m at the crossroad
Of telling my secret and finally letting go.
I have beat myself up long enough
It is time to stand up
And say enough is enough.
I can’t let that little girl be scared any longer
It was not her fault
So I’m helping her be stronger
I wont be your victim
I’m taking back the power
I will not allow you to do this to me
Not for a second not for another hour
I finally did it I came clean
Of my past and what happened to me
I couldn’t believe everything I thought it would be
No one got mad or didn’t believe
I can no longer wonder
What the past might have been
It is time to move on and truly forgive
All I know now is what will be will be
Now that I have finally set myself free!