Paper Cut

by: Ashlie M.

_

I lay there motionless, numb to my core
My mind in another world
Thoughts racing through my cortex
Emotions inflamed
The questions, the lies
The smiles, the smirks
Contemplating
Is this the way it works?

Flashbacks to happy times
Then hopes begin to fade
Happiness now seems oblique
Craving to have the mystery given back to me

Instead, what should be joy turned out to be sadness
Security into distrust
Anger and disgust then proceeded to trudge…
My heart, my worth, the foundation of my soul
For a moment of utter shock to completely take its toll

Expressionless, blank stares
Cleansing away the filth and sediment of despair
Sleepless nights and tear stricken cheeks
All that’s left is an aspiration that appears bleak

Pain that pierced like a knife, but didn’t cause a sting
A coldness of life
A violation of my being
Hurt so deep, but no mark left to show
A stabbing so intense, but no one would ever know
You don’t forget your first time
But I never want to remember
My hopes for untainted memories one day are the only ones I need to remain
Disappointed the unwrapping of my gift didn’t fit into that frame